Published on Wednesday, Jul 18th, 2018
When it comes to infrastructure (or lack thereof) is there anything more frustrating than having to incorporate swerving into your driving routine, like you’re trying to pass Donkey Kong in Mario Kart? Because, if you don’t adopt these radical techniques, you risk blowing a tire (or two) on one of New Orleans’ many massive potholes.
As far as fixing these eye and car sores goes, there’s a few things New Orleanians can do:
- Wait for the government to come to our rescue and actually patch the streets. Ha. Hahahahaha.
- Flood the Domino’s “Paving for Pizza” initiative with every zip code that starts with “70” and hope that a fast food chain will save us all.
- Do it our damned selves, because this ain’t a city full of damsels in distress.
Option 3 seems to be the way things have panned out, so far. While asphalt would be the most utilitarian way to fill the countless potholes littering the streets, let’s be real, that job belongs to the city. Locals have taken a more … creative route to filling ‘em up.
When you gotta put the road work signs up yourself, because the city won’t.
Is there a Voodoo spell we can chant for infrastructure improvement?
This one is obviously a seasonal fix.
Well, potholes are garbage. There’s no harm in a more literal approach.
We appreciate the ingenuity, but this sh*t will melt so, so fast.
Into this. Fair warning: Your dog might get a brain-eating amoeba if they go for a dip in a pothole swimming hole.
You can never have enough public parks, whether they’re in the middle of the street or not.
Well, that park had to start somewhere.
If you don’t have a front lawn to display your favorite flamingo ornament, look no further.
Get ‘em used to dealing with this driving hazard early.
New Orleans is 300 years old. And we’ve had potholes for almost as long. But long before New Orleanians got creative with filling them, we filled them accidentally — with our own vehicles.
Spot a ridiculous pothole of your own? Share it with Very Local NOLA using the hashtag #heyvlnola and it might get featured on the site!